"I can't deny it any more!" Weft gasped with his jade eyes filled with passion.
"What can't you deny" queried Magdylana twirling her rapier with her citrine eyes danced in amusement.
"I thought I wanted to kill you but this fight was a flimsy pretext to get closer to you" Weft sobbed and threw his dagger down and ran off sobbing.
"Hmph" Magdylana chuckled to herself but then she followed him and sat down next to him.
"I'm living a lie!" Weft whimpered and then he wrapped his arms around his knees and put his chin on them and looked really crestfallen and adorable.
"Why don't you leave your order and be my concubine?" Magdylana suggested suggestively. She ran a hand up and down Weft's leg and she had blood orange nail varnish on her perfect fingernails.
"I can't!" Weft wailed.
"Oh come on, I'll buy you pretty shoes and scarves and clothes and a kitten" Magdylana promised...
"I'm not a slut and I can't be bought, but what sort of clothes are we talking about?" Weft sniffed.
"The finest silks!" Magdylana proclaimed and tossed her chocolatey brown hair as if to say she could do anything she wanted.
Weft thought about it "Well maybe my elders won't notice." he sniffled. "No grabbing my butt or calling me your bitch though" he demanded.
"I'll do my best not to" Magdylana lied.
I haven't got a single thing to add to the above. Muahahahahahahaaa! If the writer is willing I'll post an excerpt from the sequel too.
(3:23:57 PM) Anke: Where is Suitov going to get involved [in the Twine Wars storyline], anyway?
(3:24:20 PM) Mutt: He's with Soprone, but not at the very beginning.
(3:25:46 PM) Anke: Any more plans already, or waiting to see what happens first?
(3:26:03 PM) Mutt: I don't have plans, nope.
(3:26:44 PM) ***Anke is wondering how to get Yrn involved
(3:26:46 PM) Weft: Well, obviously they wait until they're really desperate, then get drunk and drugged off their faces, then fall and hit their heads on a gutter, and THEN hiring him starts to look like a good idea.
(3:27:06 PM) Vespers: but at some point he transitions, willingly or not, from being 'with' someone, to being more of a cult of personality, right?
(3:27:40 PM) Mutt: Cult of personality sounds so... cultish.
(3:28:27 PM) Mutt: Let's just call it a little treason.
(3:28:58 PM) Anke: well, as long as it's just a little
(3:28:21 PM) Vespers: I mean, it's obvious that by the height of the war, Suitov is a power, not the bully-boy of a power. Or it wouldn't be Suitov we're talking about. And you know perfectly well all the best generals' forces were a cult of personality
(3:28:45 PM) Vespers: Napoleon, Wellington, Grant, Lee, Washington...
(3:28:54 PM) Mutt: Right, in that sense.
(3:29:21 PM) Mutt: "Cult" has all kinds of unpleasant associations for me, ha.
(3:30:51 PM) Vespers: Cult of personality =/= traditional 'cult', although traditional cults ARE also cults of personality, generally speaking. and, well, call it hero worship if you like
(3:30:59 PM) Vespers: dunno if you like that better :P
(3:31:27 PM) Suitov: I think I preferred empire of blackest snow.
(3:32:19 PM) Suitov: Or "northern terror", that was a good one.
(3:30:53 PM) Mutt: Where he fits with the rest of Shade, if that's what you're asking, Ves, is as a smaller (or certainly not the biggest... you kinda need land to support being huge) BUT very high-tech power.
(3:32:03 PM) Vespers: so he's a hammer. Not a, well, avalanche like the Flag.
(3:32:59 PM) Suitov: We're a laser rifle.
(3:33:10 PM) Anke: Cute
(3:33:35 PM) Vespers: laser rifles ain't much good against avalanches :P
(3:33:59 PM) Suitov: It's your analogy.
(3:34:20 PM) Vespers: (great mental image. "Stay back! I'm warning you!" *pew pew SCHLOMP*)
(3:34:49 PM) Weft: I've seen him face down an avalanche and I don't remember the *pew pew* bit.
(3:35:35 PM) Vespers: hah, rather
(3:35:37 PM) Anke: VERY cute. <3
(3:36:18 PM) Weft: I remember it as more terrifying and very loud.
(3:36:14 PM) Vespers: Weft's pretty supportive. Sure you haven't gotten him mixed up with vamp-weft?
(3:36:41 PM) Weft: I am NOT suppotrgviiveeveddsafdsfsfsdf *hiss*
(3:37:03 PM) Anke: X)
(3:37:13 PM) Weft: DIE.
(3:37:20 PM) Weft: I'll make you eat your own liver.
(3:37:46 PM) Felix: It'd be tasty. I eat well.
(3:37:57 PM) Anke: meh
(3:38:12 PM) Weft: Yes, eat well, because it shall be your last... well, last liver.
(3:38:18 PM) Vespers: By the way, Weft totally is adorable
(3:38:27 PM) Vespers: he's such a kitty :P
(3:38:55 PM) Weft: DIE IN A MAGICALLY-INDUCED COMA WHERE YOU'RE IN UNSPEAKABLE AGONIES RELIVING EVERY NIGHTMARE YOU EVER
(3:38:55 PM) Suitov: Calm. Down.
(3:38:55 PM) Weft: ...sorrysir
(3:39:43 PM) Vespers: sort of a kitty crossed with a tiny baby puppydog that's totally in love with you [*]
(3:39:33 PM) Anke: The more hissyfits you throw, the less seriously people take them...
(3:39:44 PM) Anke: ... so save them up.
(3:40:20 PM) Weft: I have like a year's supply in my shoulder muscles alone.
(3:41:03 PM) Anke: Sounds like you could do with a massage
(3:41:42 PM) Weft: Sounds like anyone attempting it wouldn't value their life.
(3:43:27 PM) Anke: Why are you in such a bad mood today?
(3:46:10 PM) Weft: Mr. Vespers called me a *inaudible*
[And Vespers had to go to bed here]
[*] Whole bottles of ink, or the equivalent online, have been spilt over who Vespers meant by "you".
- Music:Living Colour - Cult of Personality - GH3 soundtrack
- Mood:impish
Of course, I don't pretend that it hadn't crossed my mind earlier. A woman is entitled to window shop. Nevertheless, the first time I seriously considered the possibility that I might be falling for Lord Suitov Iceheart was when we were all double-wrapped in yak hides crossing the Premolar Mountains and he cracked a joke about daffodils.
That's something Suitov does a lot. I suspect the idea is to cheer me up and make me forget how far I am from home. Among the many things that surprised me about Suitov is how he doesn't mind looking goofy if it'll put a woman at ease. Most 'aristocrats' I've known are obsessed more than anything with being dignified at all times and, to tell you the truth, I'm not used to hearing lofty lords joking around.
Or, indeed, asking my opinion. That's another thing. When most men say "what do you think?", they generally want you to back them up. When Suitov asks, the intonation is different -- he wants to know. And he listens. Even when he's being told he's wrong. If he wasn't so obviously a man in other ways, I don't know...
I think what finally made me feel comfortable with Suitov was, well, the flipside of what made me uneasy to begin with. He didn't want anything from me. The door-opening, the compliments, the random thoughtful presents, for heaven's sake: the obvious thought, to me anyway, was that he wanted to get into my pants. After a while I realised none of it's aimed at impressing people. He just actually is like that.
Maybe it's upbringing. Whatever it is, it's damned attractive. That's the conclusion I came to, two thirds of the way up those mountains, and I'm sticking to it.
Now all I need to do is find a way into his pants. Perhaps I'll buy him a book...
Yeah. I'd be interested to see who you think our narrator here is.
Suitov debrainwashed Weft and they shared a clumsy, desperate kiss just seconds before they were parted for ever.
It's minimalist, I suppose...
But you KNOW I want more detail.
Don't tell anyone, but I could get in a leeeeetle trouble for posting this one. Bones doesn't like unauthorised translations, but seeing as only 18 people in the multiverse speak Untwanga, one is a heron and three of them don't do much more than grunt... well, I did my best.
Alisander is her hero,
Lovely strong-armed Alic, tawny.
Naked now he stands before her,
Naked now she stands before him,
Naked next to one another.
Bronzed and oiled, his chest is moving,
Moving in the sultry morning,
Stirring breath inside her, stirring;
Paraskive finds him lovely;
Brown-skinned Alic, tawny, hero.
Then one day Jiana had a secret and kept sneaking away and Suitov was trying to find out what it was but she wouldn't tell him. "Trust me honey you don't want to know." Then one day a helicopter snuck up from behind the "H" in Hollywood and caught Jiana in a net. "Oh no the Black Rose has found me. Somebody help!"
When Suitov heard about it on the news he get really mad and put on all black clothes and a long leather duster and took a lot of weapons and guns and a motorbike. It had a sidecar for his dog. He rode and flew into the back of a jet which opened up and flew real low along the freeway. Then he immobilized the pilot and flew to antartica.
When they got to antartica Suitov parked the plane "It's cold out there and it's about to get colder. Are you ready tiger?" He put on some mirrored shades and had gelled his hair back and stepped outside with his coat tails blowing all around in the wind and snow and his dog looming behind him with glowing red eyes. They were going to get his wife back ready or not.
At the same time Jiana woke up in a cell "Oh no where am I. You monsters!" she screamed and screamed for an hour then she thought and worked out a plan to escape. When the guard came in Jiana fell over and pretended to die and the guard came over to loosen her shirt. That was when Jiana got the hand cuff chain around the guard's neck and they fought and she knocked the guard out and chained her instead and stole her uniform.
"Aren't you a little flat chested for a prison trooper?" Jiana said while she struggling to make the shirt fasten. She put on the guard's cap too and it looked real adorable on her. Then she went to complete her mission.
Suitov got into the front door of the fortress and had a gun battle with guards which he defeated using two guns at one time and his dog tripped up one of the guards when the guard was running in the way and the guard fell over.
Suitov put his boot on the guard's neck and said "Where is she and if you have to ask Who you will be deemed too stupid to live". So the guard said "Cells... 4th... floor please don't... kill me... I'm only... following orders." Suitov said "Look where following orders gets you. If I were you I'd consider a change in career. Something safer like lion taming." Then he grinned out of the corner of his mouth and the light reflected off his teeth and shades and then he whoosed off to the elevators.
He had to knock out 15 guards before reaching the elevator with his dog close behind. The dog was carrying a sanwich one of the guards had brought for their lunch. Suitov stood with his hands clasped behind him while the elevator went up and then he said "4th floor, electronics, kitchenware and kidnapped redheads."
He came out of the elevator and ran into another guard and they were about to knock each other out when Suitov lifted up his shades and said "Jiana!", and it was her.
"Ice you shouldn't have come." "I see you have the situation in hand, but don't I at least get credit for making the effort?" "That smart mouth is going to get you in to trouble some day, I suppose you can tag along since you're already here." "Very well, you can fill me in on the way." Suitov's dog followed them licking mayo off his nose and wondering if there was any cola to wash the sanwich down with.
"You see Ice, I have been tracking this criminal organization for some time now. They have a superconductor and they plan to use it to steal the world's oil and hold the world leaders to ransom before they pour it into the sea." "Very slick. But let me guess, someone spilled?" "Yes an informant told someone and I was sent to investigate. Sorry honey but I just couldn't tell you, the fate of the world was on the line." "A bigger sort of stake than your usual." "Judging by the puns you must really be mad at me." "I am, we'll talk about it later though. I take it this is the correct door." "It must be, the silver skulls on the doorposts are twice as big and tacky. as the others. And in the eyes, are those rubies?"
Red light glinted off Suitov's shades. "Get down!" he shouted in a commanding voice, his dog through himself aside and Suitov dragged Jiana down just before the silver skulls fired deadly lasers at them. Suitov rolled and took his gun and shot the eyes of the skull and they stopped glowing and went out. "Socket to me, pray do." Suitov got back to his feet pushing his shades back up his nose.
"I don't think much of the welcome so far." Jiana dusted off her guard uniform. Suitov said "It means we're close. Stay near me and let's see what else our gracious hosts have sent HEADing our way." Jiana nodded. "Give me a gun." "I beg your pardon, how inconsiderate of me." Suitov gave her a .45 and Jiana slid one of his knives into her boot. They went up to the door and on the count of three they both kicked it open.
Inside was a man in an all white suit and he had a white fedora down over one eye and a scar going down from the corner of his mouth. In front of him one of the guards had got Suitov's dog in a head lock and had a gun to his head. The man in white said "That's far enough." Suitov froze at once and another guard took his gun and held it to his back. Jiana put her hands over her head.
Jiana said "Inteligenzia I might have known it was you all along." The man in white laughed and half took off his hat to her. "Jiana my dear you were easy to fool, you and that predictable pretty boy partner of yours." "Well, when you put it so alliteratively," Suitov said. The guard hit him in the ribs with the gun butt "Quiet!" and Suitov wheezed and shut up.
"Now you two and your little dog too are all at my mercy!"
MORE TO COME IF I GET 5 REVIEWS!!!
Needless to say, I hope she gets five reviews. ^_^
"Quite. Think nothing of it actually I enjoyed it." Valdemar Assured him. He purred and nibbled Müttly Föe's neck so there were obviously no hard feelings remaining, although give him half an hour and he could probably manage another round.
Valdemar added "Besides I knew you were a vampire (half) beforehand because you insist on telling everyone you meet."
"That is all right then" sighed Müttly Föe who was relieved it was all right.
"When you get leathered enough Val, you enjoy anything," Felix smirked while picking up his underpants from the floor with a foot, "believe me Föe tonight was positively tame compared to what he gets up to. The number of times I've had to magic some nasty rash off his..."
"That's enough Felix!" Shouted Valdemar as soon as he stopped choking on his vodka and Red Bull.
"Well that was fun but I'm still completely mashed." Contemplated Felix. "I know, I have some parchment here. If Föe here can control himself for five minutes"
"I said I was sorry!" Whined Müttly Föe manfully.
"Fine, so as I was saying, let's open a vein each and sign some kind of crazy blood pact we'll all really regret in the morning."
"OK!" Valdemar beamed.
"You know me, I'm up for anything," Müttly Föe stated.
"What do you say we all agree to embark on a triune Ascendancy and become gods?" Felix suggested with a boozy leer.
"OK!" Valdemar reiterated, even managing to slur it a little despite there not being any sibilants
"Ah. I'll have to pass on that, I don't normally tell most people but actually I'm already secretly a demigod (half)," admitted Müttly Föe, "good luck with that though, you two should go ahead."
"You heard the man Felix, write up that pact!" Valdemar boomed and waved his glass for emphasis and then gave the room a view of his naked butt as he fished around on the floor for an escaped ice cube.
"I'd worship him, anyway," reflected Müttly Föe reflectively.
Felix snorted and threw a pillow at Valdemar's rear end.
"Wolf?" said Mitzie, flattening her ears and growling worriedly.
Basaltine sighed. "No wolf. Hypothetical wolf," he said.
"Hate wolves. Chase 'em off."
"Yeah, very good, Mitz." Sheesh. It was just as well he was head over heels for the bitch. She wasn't all that bright.
I don't usually post things with myself in, because hell, what's the point. Here someone on the forums had a diligent attempt at "Suitov/just about everyone female", which always amuses me. An excerpt:
"I can't believe how much of a slut you are" said Weft to Suitov.
"It's true I like the pretty laides" said Suitov replied.
"And the not so pretty ones, I can't believe you slept with Jaina Laffent and Magdylana and Ishtar and even that genie."
"Those are just the ones I let you find out about" said Suitov because he was annoying Weft.
Weft was angry and siad "I hope you get an STD and die" but he didn't really. He was saying it because he was mad. Sometimes people say things they don't mean to their friends when theyre mad.
Then Suitov got mad too and wasn't friends with Weft any more and he went and met a beautiful girl with short slightly frizzy red hair and glasses and asthma wearing a Maze Masters tank top and cargo pants with three chains on them and so he married her and they were in love forever.
I didn't say it was any good... I'm sure she'll improve with practice and feedback though! ^_^
"Come on, Jade. I thought you knew, that's all. You kept making those backhanded comments about me being jealous."
"Yeah, of me! Jealous of me. I'd have never thought you were jealous of..." She caught his eye. "Of him. Of Ice."
"More fool you. And lucky Ice... yet again. Always lucky. Looks, loot and ladies, right? What more could you want in a man?" So why are you here, miss tall and red avenger? Why here, with me?
"Why don't you tell me, Weft? What can you offer that Suitov can't?"
He let his eyes wander down her long legs while he figured out what to say. Those long, muscled legs in her ripped jeans. On second thought, that wasn't helping. He looked towards the door instead. Then back to her. Jaina's eyes were... he'd found them horribly tacky at first, but when you looked into them, really looked, you could... He pulled himself together, yet again. Was it just him or was it getting hot in here?
"For a start," he said, "I can mend that slash in your jeans." Of course, you'll have to take them off first. "After that, well, I guess we'll see." If there was a cleverer line, he couldn't think of it. That had always been Suitov's arena too.
Jaina ran her left hand over the taut denim, almost shyly. "I think I'd like that," she said.
Rewritten because Jainey didn't like being the... initiator. Lady's prerogative, right, boys?
Weft squeaked in surprise. For a second it seemed that his eyes would flutter closed; then he squirmed inhumanly out of her grasp and staggered backwards. It was the only time she'd seen him move clumsily.
"Um," croaked Weft, swallowed a couple of times and tried again. "Don't think I haven't thought about it. But I... can't."
Jaina smiled the smile of a predat oh shit Weft coming must close laptop seeya soon darlings x ^_^
What was 'normal' with this guy, anyway?
His four limbs twitched just once, finding themselves thoroughly immobilised by the woody vines she'd grown in a hurry, and he looked at her. "I take it I failed," Weft said steadily.
"You could say that," Sylvie replied, and sighed. "Is it worth asking why you tried to kill me?"
"I was told to."
"Simple as that?"
"Simple as that."
"Right." It would be wrong to say she was developing a headache; Sylvie had been nurturing this one all morning, beginning with the loud alarm shrieks from her little two-headed companion, who had flown off to chase a brown-and-white magpie and hadn't been seen since, and growing worse as the sun came above the gorse and heather to shine in her eyes.
Being almost assassinated hadn't exactly helped matters, though. And now...
Not knowing what else to do, Sylvie put her meagre camp in order. She left until last the overshirt, trousers, belt and shoes she'd removed from her would-be murderer while he was unconscious. She didn't really want to touch them. Far too many ways to get cut.
Weft had noticed, of course he had, that he was stripped down to his undershirt and shorts. Sylvie still wasn't sure she'd removed all the weapons, but she'd wanted to leave him some dignity. Besides, she'd gummed his fingers together as an extra precaution. With any luck, he wouldn't get out of her little trap before she was long gone.
A nagging thought recurred to her and she turned back to the restrained assassin. "You know, one thing I have been wondering. Surely your superiors know you're," choose words carefully, now, "friends with Sebastian. Weren't they worried you'd warn him?"
"Or you directly?" he added. He seemed resigned. "No. I couldn't, even if I'd wanted to. Which I - did, very much."
Sylvie folded her arms and looked at him in case he'd elaborate.
"And if you're wondering, no, I wasn't slacking off or going easy on you. I made a genuine error, your magic was too good, you got me fair and square."
Except that it was completely by chance. It didn't bear thinking about. If she hadn't set up those silent alarms in case another wild stag came blundering by...
"Actually," Sylvie said, "I was wondering why you were sent in particular, instead of someone with no... emotional involvement in the case. Their cruel joke at the victim's expense, perhaps?" She didn't really think so, but... no, actually she wouldn't put much past these people. Not given the way Suitov talked about them.
"I don't think they think like that. More likely they were punishing me," Weft said matter-of-factly.
Sylvie raised an eyebrow. "For?"
"Take your pick. I'm a pretty lousy botcher, always making mistakes. I deserve it."
"Is that so?"
"Come off it, Sylvie. I just tried to kill you! I would think you'd at least agree with that one."
Sylvie shrugged and turned away. Give him time to stew. She had the strong feeling that now was an opportunity to get some answers she wouldn't normally hear.
Besides, she had a lithe, pliant and scantily-clad visitor tied up and he'd just said he deserved to be punished. Sylvie always did her best to be accommodating.
"Have I said you were?" responded the human with a shake of his head, causing his dark hair to flick around his shoulders. Try as he might have been to pay attention to Sebastian, his cloudy grey eyes kept straying back to his book, like a teething puppy trying not to think of slippers.
Sebastian continued to fidget and move around, his silver hair dancing around him like the ghost of a waterfall. He picked up the jade carving he'd 'rescued' from the Lost Temple of Hla'Llugh in the dark elven kingdom of Vent'Demain and began tossing it up and down.
Finally he burst out with "Just because we dallied, that does not mean I like men. Is that clear?"
"For the record, neither do I," Suitov put in, toying briefly with the edge of a page before turning it.
"Furthermore," said Sebastian.
"Yes?" The human mage gave up and closed the book. But he kept his place with a finger.
"Moreover and furthermore."
"Yes...?"
The half-elf sat down abruptly on the end of the bed and briefly flashed his gigawatt smile. "I think it would be just as well if word of this never reached Sylvie's ears. Or Jaina's. Or indeed, goddess bless him, Weft."
"I wasn't planning to mention it to them."
"My dear friend," he began, addressing the assassin who was currently wrapped in his arms and gently purring.
"Mm?" enunciated Weft, too warm and comfortable to move.
"When I agreed to sleep with you..."
"Mmmmm."
"...which you convinced me was the only way to save the dragons' lives..."
"Oh," said Weft, "yeah, the dragons, yeah. Only way."
"I don't recall marriage being mentioned at any point."
Weft opened his eyes and leaned back a little. He gave Iceheart a narrow look. Then he chuckled. "You're such a kidder, Rigey. A one-night stand? Really, what sort of boy do you think I am?"
"OMG," said Weft, "I am so hot today." He took off his conservatively cut bubblegum pink sweater and twirled it teasingly.
"Yes, yes you are," leered Müttly Föe, applauding.
"Shut up. This is supposed to be a stakeout," Weft told him.
"I came out centuries ago. Are you going to stake me?" asked Müttly Föe honestly and euphemistically.
"Keep your brain on duty," snapped the monk.
"That is hard when the blood is rushing elsewhere," the half-vampire said. "Aww, no," he added, disappointedly watching Weft wriggle into a black turtleneck.
Some day he would ask about those scars across the assassin's abs. He had a feeling there was a dramatic and potentially hawt story behind them. There certainly was for all of Müttly Föe's scars, which he did not need to keep because he had a healing factor and cellular regeneration, but he kept them to remind him and also for the coolness factor.
"Is there any sign of movement?"
"Oh right, the target." Müttly Föe squinted across the dock. The windows of the houseboat were darkened and the curtains were drawn. The curtains were yellow with a pattern that looked sort of like abstract feathers or ribbons. "No there is no sign of movement. You realise I could just stop time and use the Force and then..."
"Shut up. My assignment, my rules." Weft's hand found the back of Müttly Föe's neck. In an instant he dug a thumbnail into a pressure point to remind the vampire who was boss.
"I can tell it is going to be hard work getting into your pants," Müttly Föe said appreciatively.
"You're a size 10. You wouldn't fit."
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babylonvenus- Ishtar is Love. and sex.
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