Suitov debrainwashed Weft and they shared a clumsy, desperate kiss just seconds before they were parted for ever.

It's minimalist, I suppose...

But you KNOW I want more detail.

Why are canon ships not popular? I think it's a shame!

Don't tell anyone, but I could get in a leeeeetle trouble for posting this one. Bones doesn't like unauthorised translations, but seeing as only 18 people in the multiverse speak Untwanga, one is a heron and three of them don't do much more than grunt... well, I did my best.

Alisander is her hero,
Lovely strong-armed Alic, tawny.
Naked now he stands before her,
Naked now she stands before him,
Naked next to one another.
Bronzed and oiled, his chest is moving,
Moving in the sultry morning,
Stirring breath inside her, stirring;
Paraskive finds him lovely;
Brown-skinned Alic, tawny, hero.

I don't usually post things with myself in, because hell, what's the point. Here someone on the forums had a diligent attempt at "Suitov/just about everyone female", which always amuses me. An excerpt:

"I can't believe how much of a slut you are" said Weft to Suitov.

"It's true I like the pretty laides" said Suitov replied.

"And the not so pretty ones, I can't believe you slept with Jaina Laffent and Magdylana and Ishtar and even that genie."

"Those are just the ones I let you find out about" said Suitov because he was annoying Weft.

Weft was angry and siad "I hope you get an STD and die" but he didn't really. He was saying it because he was mad. Sometimes people say things they don't mean to their friends when theyre mad.

Then Suitov got mad too and wasn't friends with Weft any more and he went and met a beautiful girl with short slightly frizzy red hair and glasses and asthma wearing a Maze Masters tank top and cargo pants with three chains on them and so he married her and they were in love forever.

I didn't say it was any good... I'm sure she'll improve with practice and feedback though! ^_^

gunnymimi hon, do you prefer het? ^^;

Because Eche wrote the cutest Sebbie/Sylvie silly!fic. It had us in stitches at EmpMyst. I'll find the link if you like...

Well, summer's here and with it the usual do-not-feed-the-trolls season. It must be school-out time waking them up. Whichever way, we've been swamped with "omg ur perverts", "I banish you in the name of holy ghost fire!!!", "plez join my webring" and one positively zen posting that (once it got through the filters) said simply " with ! "

There have also been lots of "plz rate my fic idea the main character is a half veela half vampire half garou half angel who is soulmates with suitov and i haven't thought of a plot yet, plz don't steal my ideas!!!" in the summaries forum. We do get a lot of new member apps at this time of year, but I suspect some of these are actually baits by the moderators. There's something too artful about the placement. Summer madness all around, hmm?

The August Phic Phest is proceeding apace. We've almost got our twenty already! Voting on these is always fun. Last year I was asked to be one of the panel. The panellists read, evaluate and give their comments on the entries before voting opens. You can't serve on the panel two years in a row, though - except for Eche, but besides being our glorious leader, her opinions are always pure gold. You could say Echidna is the Simon Cowell of internet fanfic.

The Empousan Mysteries girls have all been giggling at these!

Succubus sightings?
Succubus sightings #2

Succubi in a web manga!

Yes, there is a very simple Wiccan ritual to get rid of me, you know. Don't forget the salt!

The Champion Ship at Emp Myst is almost over. It's been hectic, but we're almost to our overall target. ^_^ Evie and Eche came up with something... well, I don't want to spoiler it before you read it...

Of course, if anyone really wanted to annoy Suitov, they'd harass the kitten (cause Ice thinks the right to torment Weft is exclusively his) or be obnoxious to girls (cause even though Ice knows how stupid chivalry is, he still finds it really hard to resist) or start talking about mass extinctions (I'm not sure why this upsets him).

I'm just sayin' is all.

His hellhound is much easier to provoke. All it takes is a little felinity or a slap on the nose.

Speaking of rousing an unholy bitch, things are slowly calming down at Empousan Mysteries. I don't even know what that little flamewar was all about. Tyche, Evie and Bone Woman are on pre-mod "until they learn to grow up and get along", which I suspect will be some time. I love Boney but she isn't exactly known for learning her lesson, even if you could find someone who can teach it in Untwanga.

It's rare that Eche has to step in. I don't think any of us should be proud of ourselves. But I think the best thing to do is get on with our ficcing and... y'know, just have fun. That's why we all joined.

HE IS SO GULLIBLE.

I mean, technically it's all true, but I may have exaggerated the numbers of 'shippers slightly.

Personally... so completely over the Webbie pairing. It was cool a few years ago when nobody was doing it. Now - practically canon anyway and everyone's on board ship. (Jexely is still <3 though and I have a guilty soft spot for SebRiccy. I might upload some more of those.)

Recently, and I KNOW I keep going on about it, but Laffweffa - so obvious! I can't see why anyone else doesn't see it! And it's het for a change ^^

Today's challenge.

ISHTAR NECRO PR0N-FIC. (Well, me turning up dead is obviously a turn on for half the cast.)

Failing that: A sweet, sappy romance fic between Kerak and Baskerville.

Today's challenge, smutfic buccaneers, is...

Cook up a semi-believable reason - and partner - for Serpentine to be wrestling in lime jelly.

You know what - on second thought, I don't give a flying fornication whether it's believable. I just want to see it. Uhmmmmmmm!